Wednesday, February 13, 2008

inspired by my husband and lisel mueller



1)I was born in a windy city, in a hospital named after the patron saint of animals.

2)In this year women fought to free their bodies from government control. Bob Marley released Exodus. I benefit from both.

3)My home is soft with my sweet smelling mother. My mother's sisters rush around me whispering female myths in sandlewood voices.

4)My spirited father leaves and takes refuge in his brother. Each week's end makes my stomach hurt, but I do not know why.

5)I am caught between playing and knowing. I dream of my family drowning.

6)The mother takes another man into the home, he smells different and behaves different. The daughters long for the father, but their longing is lost in adult words.

7)My aunts emerge and speak of bleeding and woman and nakedness. They are red and glowing and I am afraid.

8)I hide under books and get lost in long school hallways. The other adolescents speak in tongues I do not know. I share my markings and feel hot and ashamed.

9)I am free in corn fields. Black crows fly above and I follow.

10)I fall over and over again in love with literature and poetry and men and ideas. My world explodes and I am the center.

11)I follow the moon across the ocean and meet women clad in colorful saris. We move and dance. Words are unnecessary.

12)I get lost in California.

13)I am found in Alaska.

14)In Colorado I meet him and all my knowing is undone. I go the way I have not gone and colors pour out of my mouth.

15)He holds me in southern light.

16)We make a life together. It is hot. He makes art out of everything. My body is joyful and resting.

17)We weave another life into ours. We walk in a circle through the woods. Our dog sniffs out animal life and leads us to water.

18)Her mystery unfolds in our bedroom. It is the beginning of June. She bursts into being.

19)The lines on our face grow deeper. We begin to notice young people.

20)There are nine possible incarnations. We are waiting for Fortuna to spin her wheel.

1 comment:

jen said...

beautiful. each of your entries is tender and graceful and True, as are you, dear janelle. five tears fell as i read through what you've written here, thus far. i am grateful that you are you.